During a quick and much needed mini-vacation to feed my soul with my friend Linda at her beautiful farm, Soulful Prairies, I was pondering my recent experiences and states of being. I was thinking about what gets in my way of not taking action or what keeps me from stepping out of my comfort zone at times – things like: what gets in the way of having, doing, being, achieving what I want. I suspect many of you experience things like this from time to time or maybe more often. It could be anything from finding and speaking our truth to finding work that is meaningful and fulfilling; from stepping out of a behavior that doesn’t serve us to getting more organized. No matter what it is, I find that I am what usually gets in my own way. I tell myself stories about why something that challenges me won’t work or why it isn’t the right time, etc, etc. Usually, there is a limiting belief lurking around.
What I love to do most is inspire others to find courage and build confidence to move forward in life, to do something they never believed they could, to create new stories – to release limiting beliefs that stand in the way. There is that “C” word. Confidence. I certainly have my own areas where I don’t feel terribly confident at times. So what is confidence anyway and how do we build more of it?
Confidence. It’s what we need to succeed. To feel good about ourselves. To step through our fears. To stand up for ourselves and so much more. There are many professionals out there writing about confidence these days. Confidence is more about who we are, about our belief in ourselves and not as much about being able to do something. Barbara De Angelis reminds us, “When you base your confidence on who you are, instead of what you accomplish, you have created something that no one or no circumstance can ever take away from you.” I believe being confident is the belief that we can handle whatever comes our way; we can learn how to do things we are not comfortable doing. We can step through the fear and limiting beliefs. We can.
So how do we build our confidence? We can small steps each day. Here are a few tips:
- Do something each day that stretches you out of your comfort zone – just do it anyway
- Practice positive affirmations about yourself as if it is already so
- Refute the negative self -talk by consistently letting that inner critic know why what it says isn’t true – bust those limiting beliefs no matter where they came from
- Practice self-care
- Surround yourself with people who care about you, positive people
- Allow yourself to dream big
For myself, all of this means getting out of my own way and really showing up – even when it’s really uncomfortable!
What stretches you beyond your comfort zone that you resist doing? What stories do you tell yourself about limitations? How do you define confidence? Do you have it? Want more of it? I would love to hear how you have handled barriers to feeling confident!
Wishing you each the confidence to go for it! Oh, and if lack of confidence does show up write an affirmation about just how boldly confident you already are!
In joy & going for it,
Brenda & the herd